The random thoughts

In no particular order:

*Why is it that whatever I'm looking for is always, inevitably, in the other pocket?

* Everytime I go looking for a specific article of clothing, I cannot find it. This happens despite the fact that yesterday, when I was looking for another shirt, I kept landing on the one I now mysteriously can't find.

* I wish my cats spoke English.

* I don't understand the purpose of aftershave. Doesn't that shit sting? Only a crazy woman would slap alcohol on her freshly shaved legs. Is it some kind of male initiation rite? Test of masculine strength?

* Last night I asked my best friend if the positive qualities I attribute to my sister, who is a drug-addled, abused and abusive mess, was more or less what I wished she was. He said it was likely that.

* I still believe that she is the funniest person I have ever met. No one makes me laugh like she can.

* Why does my microwave place my food at the back of the plate, no matter how long I set it to warm?

* Sometimes my toilet leaks, sometimes it doesn't. I can never figure out what makes the difference.

* There is a young man who lives in these apartments who never wears a shirt. Seriously, I've never seen him in a topped garment. It will be February and he will still be wandering about shirtless.

* I'm continually astounded at the number of Midwesterners who forget their coats in 20 degree weather. My sister and I are from Arizona. We never forget our coats.

* Why do the cats always have to use the litterbox immediately after I clean it?

* I've never experienced the quandary of missing socks after doing laundry. This is because I never have matching socks to begin with.

* No, I don't think it's weird that I disassemble my AC once a month and scrub it down. Do you know how much dander four cats produce? A lot. A whole, whole, allergy-inducing lot.

* I'm not afraid to die. But in my 20's I'd said I would celebrate my gray hairs. Instead I freaked out when I finally did get them. I wonder if coming face to face with my mortality will be the same.

* I need to finish up Mass Effect 3, my favorite video games series. I've hit a point where one of the major characters die and I've been putting off going through that emotionally ripping scene.

* When other people ask me if he has die, I say "Yes. It's a fixed point in time." I should learn how to say that in an English accent so I can sound like Dr. Who.

* Why do the cats always have to throw up in the most trafficked areas of the house? And why does one of my cats always eat back her vomit?

* And finally, why are lists the final fall-back of human writing? Itemized accounts of inane thoughts, however, are comforting. And occasionally, that is all I have to write.